To Do List

• find way to make face look "attractive" (how in the hell am i supposed to pull this off??)
• lighten eyes (does just calling my dark-kiwi eyes light brown count??)
• wear non-slutty clothing
• have long hair
• do a lot of stuff
• have good sense of humor (what is the definition of "good" humor??)
• know when it is appropriate to be serious v. relaxed
• become a comfy hugger (put a big ? next to this strikeout. how are some hugs more comfy than others??)

(why am i double ?ing everything??)

I'm not alone

Every time I start to miss you,

I just go outside to lay on my deck,

And gaze at the moon.

Then I feel a little bit better knowing

That we're both in the same place:

Under the stars.

Pain

We were all in pain

Each in a personal Hell

Be we were together

That eased the suffering a bit

But then she left

Our bonding glue dissolved

She escaped the pain

We're still in agony

Who really got the raw end of the deal?

Being Normal Never Really Was Ever My Things

I'm not like other people.

Life without a mother

Is like life without vision.

You're not the same as everyone else.

You're alienated.

Not completely a part of society.

You don't fully identify with others.

You're different.

Sometimes I don't even feel like a person.

When I see people being close with their moms.

I get angry.

My blood boils.

My fingers twitch.

I want to set light to the world

And watch it burn.

That would make me happy.

I'm not like other people.

Urban Dictionary

draco	114 up, 24 down
	The second hottest guy in the Harry Potter series. A character with so much potential that J.K. Rowling shuffled to the side because she realized her writing abilities didn't covercharacterization. I would join the Dark Side to fuck Draco Malfoy.

I can't sleep. Again.

Yet again, I'm awake in bed knowing that I should sleep, but don't want to because my favorite moments with you are running though my mind. Like a montage. Its an epic love montage. lol. (nerdalert. sorry. teehee.)

Anyway, I'm sure you want to know who its is, and if its you. So here are some hints to the identity of 'my guy':

• You're built like a brick. In more ways than one. One is obvious. To figure out the other you'll have to think back to a place of magic. (just please don't kick me.)
• You used to have the best taste in beverages. But very recently, you started dabbling in the dark arts of delicious drinks.
• You're always the opposite of flat no matter how hard you try.
• I had one here...but if you go on my fb it comes far too obvious. lol. (and now i'm all bummed because it had an awesome very ginny-like nerd reference. that only i would make. sadpanda.)
• You practically wore the same outfit for picture day two years in a row. (this was noticed on accident going though yearbooks an hour ago. i dont stare at pictures of you. i promise. that's just creepy.)
• You rock at driving two-wheeled vehicles, fyi.

Teehee. Did that help? I hope not. :D

Je taime.

My heart loves you.

My head loves you.

My ears love you.

My arms love you.

My fingertips love you.

My cheeks love you.

My lips love you.

I love you.

Cards

I am now officially convinced that my mom had super powers. Not only was she amazing in life, but now she's even being amazing in death. All of the cards I get from her have a piece of life advice. And every year, it has been perfectly fitting to the crisis happening in my life. I have no idea how she foresaw every single melt down in my life, and when it was going to happen.

You are wonderful, Mommy.

I love you.

Strengths and Weaknesses

I like my coffee weak, my tea strong, and my boys in a nice cozy place in between.

teehee

The Method

Even when I've said good night and my lights are off, I'm not in bed.

I have no intentions of going to sleep until I turn on the Beatles.