ggggggggggggggggggggggggg

im so happy. he's so amazing. but i'm scared. im terrified. i'm in the process of being chill about it. but its so glued to my mind. and external forces are making me so angry. and i'm paranoid. and i'm a piping hot bowl of crazy.

but he's so sweet.
and so funny.
and so kind.
and so smart.
and so talented.
and smells so good.
and is so comfy, and no doubt snuggly.

and i have no chance.

Do You Believe In Magic?

I don't know how many of you are religious and to what extent. I, myself, am obviously not too religious. But I do believe in karma, that the universe has control over what happens in some instances, and that nothing is a coincidence. I was just stressing over an issue and thinking about something I'd like to happen. To calm down I wrote in my new notebook that is entirely letters to my mother. I explained my problem to her, and I ended the letter in the same way that I always do. "Please send me a sign."

About 3 minutes later I had KT Tunstall's Someday Soon stuck in my head.

I didn't think any thing of it. I just continued to sing it while I folded my laundry and talked to my dad. I hit the chorus of the song and as soon as I sang the words "someday soon" I made the connection in my head. A split second later I began to sing:

Do you believe in magic 

In a young girls heart?

How the music can free her

Whenever it starts

And I was "freed". I have no worries about my problem anymore. I strong, albeit blind, belief that everything's going to resolve in a good way. I believe this will end up with me being very very happy. 

All thanks to Mommy.