Totally funnyness!

Me: If a prostitute is forced into non consentual sex, is it rape or shoplifing?

Sarah's bf: see : girls say it is rape
moast boys say it is shoplifting
me i dont want to get in to it

lol. 

Here's my sad, sad attemt at poetry. Hope it doesn't kill you!

Fan twirling overhead,

The seconds hand of the clock,

Making its minutely rounds.

Both these things spinning

Round and round out of control

Just like my heart.

Why is it that when life begins to calm,

Something always stirs it round?

I hate you, I love you, I miss you, I loathe you.

I want to kiss you, I want to rip your face off.

Filled with two kinds of passion.

If only I could pick just one.

When I go to bed at night,

Your voice floats though my head

As I hug my bear wishing, yearning,

To hug you as tightly as I clutch to the bear.

But upon morning's light, 

Rage floods though me as I

Hate myself for such pathetic weakness 

And throw the bear to the ground with a soft thud.

Why oh why can't the light come on,

And have my decison be made?

Let the light flash green 

To help me move forward.

Instead of it blaring red

Keeping me as a prisoner 

In the same old place.

As just about 99% of the freshman population of this small little town knows, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. And yesterday, I was a total emo person. On my way walking home, I saw I dead squirrel with blood pooling around it's head. I broke down crying thinking that that was the squirrel equivalent of him. As soon as I got home, I put on my PJ pants, jumped under the covers and broke open the box of See's that I had got in preparation. After my second chocolate I had to stop eating. It was totally retarded, but in my head, my teeth were me, and the chocolate was his heart. I eventually got over that mentality and spent the rest of the night with chocolate in hand with my friend by my side. When I get really sad, I feel a need to watch a blood and gore movies, so I talked my dad into taking us to rent V for Vendetta. Watching that dulled the pain even though I fell asleep before the end of the movie where he makes everyone bleed. D: When I woke up today, I was still miserable and was crying just as much as I was the day before. But, about an hour ago, I had a conversation that made me feel better. Magically. I started to feel better afterwards, as I finished the ice cream, muffins, and chocolates. I didn't realize that the conversation had done it when it happened though. I realize that now. It was totally off the topic of the break-up for the most part, but it made me feel so much stronger. I feel totally equipped to face my problems now. I really owe this person. I won't name them here, but I will have to thank them for clearing my head and making me sane enough to think clearly. I still don't know what I will do, or what the answer to my questions are, but I'm fit to figure it out now. I wonder how long it will take...

I think that in reality, people will always only be remembered for one thing. No matter how great of a person, or how many great things they did, their life will always be summed up by one thing. I find that very horrible, and I know some people may try to argue it. But ask yourself, what did George Washington do? What did Einstein do? What did Jesus do? One thing sprang to your mind for each of these people. You had to struggle to think of other things, and you may have succeeded, but in the end, I hope that showed you that a person is always tied to one thing. They can't escape it. No one can. But what we all can do, is choose what that one thing will be for us individually through our words, actions, thoughts, beliefs, and decisions. Some of us are on a good path to having a nice summary that shows how wonderful of a person they are, but others like myself are off to a bad start or have taken a bad turn. Some are born to this bad start. Others make decisions that lead them there. I, this week have made a very bad turn. I intend to correct my mistakes but I'm not exactly clear on how yet. One problem, I am going to solve temporarily. Another can begin the process of clearing up once the temporary solution is made, but will flourish again once the first problem returns. I am very upset to come to the crashing realization that all of these problems I am currently facing, are directly related to the catastrophe that I was born into. What makes me even angrier is that I single handedly made all of my problems worse by ten fold in a matter of seconds of chaos that was induced by my lack of emotional control that made my brain go numb. I used to think of myself as a strong person for moving what I thought was forward from the trauma of my past, but I no longer can delude myself into thinking this. I am a horrible person and I am a plague to all that I encounter. I would like to sincerely apologise for forcing myself on society the past 14 years. I know that this tear drenched apology will not fix anything. I just feel that I need to do something, and this is where I figured I could start. I know I could fix everything but at significant pain to myself, and I think that I shall fix everything anyway. I consider it my penance. I am now taking this opportunity to announce that I shall no longer bother anyone longer than tomorrow. Adieu. 

Once again, my friends boyfriend continues to write amazing insights to our world. He has also again allowed me to share it here. "When a lost dog wonders through the street he looks for something. Humans are like this we are all lost dogs wondering through out life trying to find the answers to life’s problems and difficulties. We find friends to help us along with them but never make them go away. We also find that mental pains are more painful then physical because physical pains go away and never bother you again till you are struck again. Mental pain remains in us and agonizes us until we wish for a quick and painless death and find our self’s facing a more brutal slow painful death. When we think we are close to a place where we find comfort and joy we see that we have learned very little. You see other dogs in the same situation and find that nobody know all, even the great scholars know a puny bit of knowledge in this world." I completey agree here. We are all mindless animals struggling to find a reason to all of this that we as a species are unable to grasp. I couldn't have stated in the way that he did though.

Alright, I'll be honest with you here. I was all inspired to write a blog, so I set up an account, but I found a little snag. I have no clue on what to write about. So, I guess for now I'll just post up my random musings. I have to warn you though, many things I say you will not be able to understand. For example, curly hair looks like turtles. See? You're probably saying wtf, cazy lady? But my beloved friends will smile and high five when they see that. Today, I have been mentally revisting the idea of death. My friend's boyfriend wrote this little gem after I was talking to him about it earlier. "Life is a prison. It is to punish us from our original splendor from using it to hurt or to bribe. Death is the guard of the prison he lets people in and out of life. Only when death is present shall we learn the true meaning of life, that is that it is a punishment and when he arrives to our cell it is to let us free back to our original splendor, back to the place nobody can plunder or destroy, back to our old selves where we will be forever more unless we commit another crime and are to be punished again. We are forced to be in this prison but for some it is a place better then the one they came from due to the many friends and families which they have never seen before and never will see after when returning to there own original place. Yet for others it is a curse and death torches them by putting them close to the people who will go the quickest or torches them when death is not looking. At the end of your long and painful punishment you are in the worst part of it. Death starts taking away the people that you have held dearly and you fall into an endless pit of disparity wanting and waiting for death to come and some times he teases you and leaves you there and makes you wait. Some call him to escape over the walls of the prison with suicide. When coming in to this punishment you know nothing of what will happen and when people start to think what happens, some come up with ridiculous stories, others just say it is life (which it is)."  For the most part, I agree with this. I only differ in believing that there is nothing waiting after death. I feel that it is black nothingness that is the same as dreamless sleep only, you never wake up from it. That's the bliss that I think is waiting for all of us, the bliss of ignorance.