Things I Wish I Could Say To People.

#1- I love you, but you really piss me off. Take life more seriously. Be smart about things. Use your brain.

#2- You think I like you, but I don't anymore. You're a just a JA to me now.

#3- Stop judging me and stop being rude about tons of stuff. You're not always right.

#4- I wish you were out of my life and I wish I had the ability to hate people just so I could hate you.

#5- I love you and I miss you and I wish there was a way for you to come back to me.

#6- Stop being obsessed with my boobs!

#7- You think that I don't like you, but I love you. I always have despite what you and others might believe, and myself before a few days ago. But you'll never understand that. I don't think anyone ever will.

#8- You're really smart, and I love you, but you need to grow up about somethings.

#9- Religion is a personal choice. So let me make mine. Don't give me your choice.

#10- Are you happy? Do you think that you won some sort of game?

#11- I'm really sorry for the awkward situation I must have put you in. I understand.

#12- I love you and I love your voice. Will you come marry me after you win American Idol?

#13- I want to stab you!

#14- Will you stop clicking your pen during Geo tests? It pisses me the hell off!

#15- How could you do something so horrible to me? I never did anything wrong to you. 

#16- I hate how you're only the person I know you can be when I'm no where near you. 

#17- Your life is rocky? That's your excuse? Your life is rocky so you decide to make it rockier?! But actually, I can't blame you. We're both just teenaged idiots. Maybe you are a bad influence.

#18- Why do you spend so much time talking to me? It freaks me out.

#19- I did as requested in Reno. Where are you now? Oh, wait, I know. Being sad because you invested so much time plotting, but never actually getting what you wanted. Haha. 

#20- Is it bad that I still miss you? When I haven't talked to you for what feels like 20 years?

Okay. Here's some hints:

One was directed at Thomas, people in 7th Geo, you'll get this no prob.

One's for Neil.

One's for my cat.

And one's for Adam Lambert.

Sick Of Hiding.

Okay. That's it. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep hiding the fact that I don't have it together at all. I can't keep pretending that I'm not being torn apart watching the guy I've been wondering about for a few weeks shy of a year go after some other girl and tell me about it. I can't stand the fact that the boy who's had my heart for a year decided that he didn't fancy my heart anymore and that he went for another girl four days later. I can't stand the fact that I lost him because I was too much of a coward to tell him what my issues were with us so we could work it out and it actually led him to the other girl. So....one guy I lost, I lost because I fell for another guy and forgot about him for a few months and the other guy I lost because of my insecurities and my cowardice. I hate how I want to wear the cute dress that I got to school tomorrow, but I wont do it because I'm afraid of what my friends will say. I hate how I've hid this for so long, telling people bits and pieces of my insanity, but never the whole, entire, pathetic story. I hate how my past follows me. I hate how when ever I want to talk about my mom, I can't unless its 4-5 on Friday. I hate how the one person who knows me the most is the person that I can't handle talking to anymore. I hate how I can't hate the people who screw me over and intentionally hurt me for their own benefits. I hate how I'm ranting right now instead of staying strong and keeping it together like I'm okay. I hate how I'm so insecure. I hate how I need people around me to be happy. I hate how the one thing I've actually followed through with, was one of the biggest things thrown back into my face. I hate how I feel like I had my childhood taken from me. I hate how I feel guilty about everything, even when I know my reactions and feelings are normal. I hate how I have low self-esteem while being very vain at the same time. I hate how I thought getting bangs would help me get over him, like I was being this super-tough rebel by cutting my hair because he used to like it so much. I hate how I can't stand being in the same room with him, but when I'm not around him, I want to be around him. I hate how I can't be supportive enough of my friends. I hate how I can listen to Kathy cry over the phone telling me things she hasn't told anyone else and all I can think is Well, it is your fault, idiot.  I hate how I blame other people for my faults. I hate how I can't live a normal life because of my body and all of its medical issues. I hate how I let my past haunt me all the time. I hate how smart I am in my head, but when I try to talk I sound like a retard and say stuff like 'face forehead'. I hate how I can watching things fall apart and land on me and just sit there and say 'Someone else will take care of this'. I hate how I can't say what I really want to say to people's faces, I have to hide behind technology. I hate how I'm crying right now. I hate how I can be so angry and not know what I'm angry at. I hate how I can be perfectly content, then in an emotional torrent losing my mind in front of my keyboard. I hate how quirky I can bend my morals to make a person happy, even if I'm happy too, I should stick to my principles. I hate how I put all of my hope into the future and think that it will be better when I'm older. I hate how I can't seem to do anything right. I hate that when I was beginning my sentences with 'I can't stand that...' it reminded me of The Difference Between Jenny & Ginny. I hate that I'm a different person when I'm around the guy that likes someone else (non-pencil guy). I hate how I completely changed as a person, just because my boyfriend wanted me to. I hate how I actually tell myself that I can do things like get into Chamber or make it on American Idol. I hate how American Idol was a fun thing to talk about until him and then it became this real thing, an actual goal. I hate how I am still planning on keeping my promise to him about auditioning when I turn 16 for the show. I hate how gross my voice is. I hate how easy it is for me to lie, for me to manipulate. I hate how I hardly ever feel bad when I lie or manipulate. I hate how I don't even think of my mom as my mom anymore. She's just some nice lady from a dream I had a long time ago. I hate how my friends will know my biggest secret and part of my second biggest. While another friend knows all of my second biggest secret and part of my first. And how he knows all of it. I hate how I can't be nice to people when they're being idiots. I hate how I can't wake up in the morning to save my life. I hate how hard it is for me to go to sleep. I hate how when I'm trying to fall asleep, both of them are in my head. I can't even pick one side of insanity. I hate how when I try to get out of bed in the morning, they're what get me up. I hate how much I love love. And I hate how much I hate hate, when sometimes hate has virtues and love has vices. I hate how I just quoted one of Jeff's songs. I hate how I'm brain dumping this on a motherfreaking blog. I hate how my friends will try to help me. I hate how I'll act like I'm okay when they try to help me but it will all just be more lies. I hate how things like skydiving look thrilling, and how going to bed with out a bra is terrifying. I hate how I have a therapist and I can't even tell her everything. I hate how the one person that I completely trusted body and soul with everything about me, simply turned his back and walked away one day. I hate how I expected myself to get over him on day number four because he was with someone else. I hate how much I hated myself for having feelings for him while he was going out with someone else. I hate how I wanted them to break up and have him come back to me, but when I hear that they've broken up my first instinct is to comfort him and tell him she'll change her mind and everything will be okay again. I hate how I can't pick one side of crazy about anything, I say...Hmmm. I'm going from point A to point B. There's three ways to get from A to B: Sane, Crazy 1, and Crazy 2 and I throw away the map of the sane way and hop around from Crazy 1 to Crazy 2 never actually get to B because I'll turn around sometimes, or just stop for a while, or maybe I'll even run around in circles for a week straight. I hate how I have no control over my own mind. I hate how quickly memories fade in my brain. Woah, this happened a long time ago. Better chuck it is how my brain works. I hate how after he dumps me, I still continue to invest all of my self worth into his hands whether I want to or not. I hate how right now at 11:11 I'm wishing for him. I hate how I allowed myself to reminisce so much this past week. I hate how tired I am when I used to stay up until 3 on a school night. I hate how I'm just going to randomly stop ranting right now without finishing because I'm tired. 

Songs

Songs That Apply To My Life:

The Story - Brandi Carlile

http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-story-lyrics-brandi-carlile.html

Hotel Paper - Michelle Branch

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michellebranch/hotelpaper.html

Are You Happy Now? - Michelle Branch  (somewhat on this one)

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michellebranch/areyouhappynow.html

Tuesday Mornings - Michelle Branch

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michellebranch/tuesdaymorning.html

Where Are You Now? - Michelle Branch

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michellebranch/whereareyounow.html

Its You - Michelle Branch

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/michellebranch/itsyou.html

Under The Weather - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/undertheweather.html

Miniature Disasters - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/miniaturedisasters.html

Universe & U - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/universeu.html

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/suddenlyisee.html

Heal Over - KT Tunstall (this has been a song of mine since it came out in 2006)

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/healover.html

Through the Dark - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/throughthedark.html

Funnyman - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/funnyman.html

Hopeless - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/hopeless.html

Paper Aeroplane - KT Tunstall

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/kttunstall/paperaeroplane.html

Can't See (Useless) - Oingo Boingo

http://www.tsrocks.com/o/oingo_boingo_texts/cant_see_useless.html

Good Enough - Evanessence

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/evanescence/goodenough.html

I'm Still Breathing - Katy Perry

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/katyperry/imstillbreathing.html

Sea Of Love - Cat Power

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/cat+power/sea+of+love_20028037.html

Time Wont Let Me Go - The Bravery

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bravery/timewontletmego.html

You Make Me Feel Like A Star - Beau Sisters (woo. 90s pop!)

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/lizziemcguiremoviethe/youmakemefeellikeastarlizziemix.htm

There's more. I'll add them later.

Cutest (and slightly promiscuous) Poem Ever!

To kiss a miss is not unlawful
But to miss a kiss is simply awful
Kissing spreads germs it is so stated 
So kiss me baby, I'm vaccinated.

Digtal Quotes Book (for Natty)

Sarah: He [Peter] has a weapon in his pants.

Christine: His fiddlestick?

Sarah: I play the fiddlestick!

Christine: By launder moon, I vow...

Ginny: By my dirty pants, I vow...

Sarah: Curly hair looks like turtles.

Christine: Your feet smell bad.

Sarah. I know. I made them that way.

Christine: What are you doing to my hair?

Sarah: *chucklesdrunkenly* Boning you.

Sarah: This binder's hard.....thats what she said.

Ginny: Do you like your binders hard?

Sarah: Nah, my binders are flexible.

Ginny: Do you like them that way?

Sarah: Yeah, they last longer.

Chris: I'm going to make a ham, cheese, and egg omlette.

Sarah: And I'm going to make a peanut butter, jelly, and bread sandwich!

Sarah: Your legs are echo-y.

Sarah: Whoa. Its a face! *jackiechannoise*

Ginny: Was he all "Hug me now!"?

Nicole: What? Okay. *hugsginny*

Sarah: I have a stripper in my head that tells me what to do.

Ginny: Like Jeff's poet! Can we name your stripper Cherry?

Sarah: No. Lets name it Jeff.

Sarah: Isn't playing with zippers so much fun? Jeff! Can I play with your zipper?

Peter: *whatdidmywomanjustsaytoanothermanface*

Sarah: So that's how purses are made! Backpack sex!

Ginny: Oh my god, its genetic!

Brenda: No, its Canadian.

Sarah: That rhymed. Rain and change.

Christine: Rain and change?

Ginny: Rain and change don't rhyme....

Jeff: *playsviolaintensely*

Sarah: The plucking is like a baby playing with blocks. Then the blocks blow up!

Ginny: Yeah!

Sarah: I like it when the blocks explode before the baby plays with them.

Christine: *laughs*

Jeff: *wtfface*

Peter: Aurora! You're touching the dick locker! (C841, btw)

Sarah: Did you know they have English courses at MIT?

Christine: They also have bath tubs!

SimSarah: Awww, I love you. OMG ITS RAINING!!!

Ginny: Sheesh, your water's boiling!

Sarah: Come back in nine months and my water'll be breaking!

Sarah: My butt feels like Juicy Fruit.

Christine: Yumm. Can I have some?

Sarah: ......I don't know.

Sarah: I like your g's. They look like vicious tiger swerves.

Sarah: I rock ass!

Yearbook Girl: Can I ask the guys a question?

Sarah: There are no guys here. 

Everyone: *laughs*

Peter: What's the question?

YG: Would you prefer a sexy nurse costume or a Catholic school girl uniform?

Jeff: No. (As in, No. You can't ask us that.)

YG: If you had to answer...

Peter: The first one.

Everyone: *gigglesthenheadswervestojeff*

Jeff: .....The second one.

Christine: *clapshandstogether* Ginny, we're going to have to go shopping this weekend!

Ginny: Yeah, totally. [to self] Damn! I wish I had the quotes book!

Sarah: That was funny. 

Ginny: What? The sentence "President Sarah Palin"?

Sarah: What? That's not even a sentence. You speak English no yes?

Ginny: Si!

Sarah: Fuck!

Ginny: I know. Its so sad he has to join the army. I hugged him like four times.

Sarah: Bitch. 

Ginny: I believe the propper term would be slut or whore.

Naomi: We'll all be in Chamber by the time we're seniors.

Claire: [to Sean] You're already in chamber. *claireglare*

Sean: Yeah, but I cheated. I have something. *pointstocrotch*

Ginny: *whirlsaroundlaughingwithhandsovereyes*

Naomi: *realizedwhatwassaidandimitatesginny*

Claire: What? Oh. I thought you mean you had a tape recorder in your shoe or something!

John: Vista rapes RAM. 

Ginny: Don't hit me because you're cute!

Christine: [reading three quotes above at the line where Sean points to his crotch] He slept with Sagi? Prostitute!

Sarah: Will you answer this rhetorical question?

Christine: Yes.

Sarah: Shut up!

Sarah: It hurts like a bitch!

Christine: And how does a bitch hurt?

Sarah: Bad.

Christine: Ooh. I am attracted to this shirt.

Ginny: Is the shirts name John?

Christine: *slapsginny*

Sarah: [to Christine] Your shirt has holes in it.....were you with John?

Sarah: I can make you smile!

Christine: I can make you die!

John: Macs are stupid as fuck. If anything, they're simplicity makes everything harder because they hide all the important complex things. LIKE THE FUCKING RIGHT CLICK! Steve Jobs can go shove a mouse up his ass.

Ginny: [getting mad as Peter tries to kill Guido, the ant] You hurt my child, I'll hurt your ability to have children!

Peter: *turtlesintoshoulders*

Sarah: They did this to the ancestor of my ancestor's ancestor's ancestor's ancestor's cat!

Ginny: The white people killed my grandma's cat! Lets get them!

Sarah: I want Sleeping Beauty on my tongue!

Sarah: *triestoeatpearbutcan'tbecauseofbraces* ow! My jaw!

John: What's wrong with your jaw?

Sarah: huh?

John: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR JAW? (yelling for him is a normal speaking voice for all other humans, btw)

Sarah: What's wrong with my crotch? What? 

Ginny: Guess what I had at lunch today!

Sean: Wha......sex?

Ginny: You guessed it!

Sean: WHAT? Really? Are you kidding?

Ginny: Nope. Not kidding.

Sean: *holyshitwhatthefuckfaceofshock*

Ginny: It was as close as food can get to sex. Nutella on raisin bread.

Sean: Oh. Nutella? Psh. *semifakeslapsginny* 

Ginny: Awwww. I don't have sex today!

Sarah: Are you tired?

Ginny: No. 

Sarah: Not right now either am I!

Ginny: I think you are and QUOTESBOOK!

Why must I identify with ALL of the songs from the Hotel Paper album? WHY?!?!?!

I am a lounger.

Chummy speaks of Pencil's joke,

I forget about it without second thought.

Waffle speaks of Pencil's singing,

I can't stop my heart from beating faster.

I look at Pencil,

I am apathetic.

Pencil looks at me

I am exstatic.

The worst part is:

I don't think I haven't been this way. Ever.

I shouldn't be this way. 

I can't be this way.

I need to be smarter than going this way.

Am I already there?

Can I get out if I am?

I wish I was at the beach. 

Note: I think I've gotten a grip. The piano concerto from tonight's (last night's? its after midnight.) concert really cleared my head. Well, didn't clear it, it was more of a 'create imaginitave situations that would be amazing in real life' mind deal. But it was an awesome experiance and I'm glad it happened. (Doppio significati, di il via.)

Crappy Music & Okay Music

This is what I did this morning. It doesn't suck as much as my other songs do, so I thought I'd put it here. My piano playing totally effed up everything though, so it sounds a lot crappier than it actually is.

This is what I did a while ago. Sounds a lot better.

My downfall and my.....upfly?

I had a nice day. I got tons of sleep. I cuddled with the cat for like.....2 hours I think. Then I went sailing with Naomi then we went to see Oklahoma. But more on sailing...

WHY DO MASTS NEED TO EXIST? 

My mind had been clear. Keeping my mind clear wasn't even an issue. I was FINE. Now I'm not fine. (She's fucked now! hehehe Unborn.) I like, didn't even talk on the boat. I was just sitting there...staring at the mast with my mind going places I thought I'd left behind. Places I was happy to leave behind. I don't want to be there. I shouldn't be there. Its not right. I don't belong there. There's a new mayor of Masochist City. (Suffragette City! lol Rock Band) I was feeling things that I couldn't remember in full clarity. Feelings that shouldn't exist. Not like that atleast. But then...

The ocean rolled me away. 

I was returned to the land of Sanity. (No, I wasn't at the Cliffs of Insanity before that. I wish. Westley's awesome) My mind was at the same trajectory, but in the opposite direction. Those feelings were still coming back to me, but in this context it felt right. It didn't feel like fighting (Believe me, I was fighting my vacation to Masochist City), it felt like flying. (To quote Ducky's infamous 'Ginny v. Jenny') The place my mind had gone to was magical. I'm currently trying to run for Mayor of Happyville, but someone else is running, and so far she has more votes. But oh how I would love that position. (Not like that... Sarah/Natty)

Okay....my metaphors get freaky when I'm tired, hyped up on Dr. Pepper, and eating Pretzels&Nutella with tea. 

Lives and Expectations

I was very happy. I had a very good day today. (Despite the ASWS essay test.) Chinese was funny. I got a lot done in English. We sounded awesome in choir making a big circle around the theater holding hands to connect with each other so Sagi didn't need to direct us. I got a baby Snickers from Mr. S while I was taking last week's quiz at lunch. I got to contribute to Oklahoma! (! is part of the name. I'm not extra excited about that.) I didn't have to do anything in Science. I got to use the smart board in Geo, we won math tic tac toe so we get 1st dibbs on pie tomorrow, and I got to steal the black pen for part of the class after I used the smart board. Tomorrow's our pie day celebration. Its a beautiful day out. (Winter's feeling the sword of Spring.) I got rid of the item 'burning a hole in my backpack'. And I got to chill with Sammy for a little bit. Sweet day right?

But then I got home. And got really upset/crushed/pissed. There was an expectation I had. Although at one point my expectation became moot/pretty much impossible. And I knew that. I hadn't thought about it since, but it hit me today. 

But now (like just now, as I was typing the paragraph above), I'm just as happy as I was earlier. I found out that Suri (the cutest ninja baby ever!) was born at 3 am (same time as me, kiddo! we have something in common!) and now I'm very happy. I mean, who can be sad when someone you know just had a baby? Its like friggen impossible. Babys just cancel out sadness. Its like some universal law. So now, I think I'm going to go make some whipped cream for pie day tomorrow. And maybe some cookies....and some muffins. Okay. I'm going now. I promise I'll bring what ever I make to school tomorrow. :D Happy day!

Music Touching the Soul

Extra credit for Sagi, but I thought I'd put it here too. 

If fifth grade, I decieded to sing Home from Broadway's Beauty and the Beast in my school's talent show. I chose the song because I thought it was a pretty song and Belle was my favorite Disney character at the time. I practiced a lot, but I never thought about the meaning behind the lyrics or the context in which the song was being sung in the play. It never occured to me to think about that to add emotion to my performance. Back then I had thought that music was only about sounding good with the right pitches and rythms. 

My mom had really been looking forward to coming to my performance. She would always tell me how proud she was of me for being brave enough to sing infront of the whole school when I was normally too afraid to sing around people I didn't know that well. The morning of the show, my mom informed me that she was feeling worse than usual and that she didn't think she'd be able to come to the show. I was really sad that she wasn't going to be there, but I knew that her health was more important. 

When I walked on the stage I was so nervous I could feel my heart beating through my rib cage and my cheeks burning red. As I began to sing, I was scanning the audience for a family member. My mom had promised me that at least one person out of the visiting family would come to watch me. When I got to the chorus of the song, I caught a glimpse of dark curly hair. My eyes jumped back, and there was my mom with all of my family sitting next to her. I was so happy to see them. I smiled at them, but at the same time the song suddenly made sense to me. The lyrics explain Belle choosing to leave her comfortable life to protect her father, and her dealing with that with bravery and determination. Belle's emotional struggle in this situation clicked with me right then. I realized how the way the melody flowed added to the words being sung. I began to feel Belle's pain with a pang in my heart, then I had connected it to myself with how I had a comfortable life of being a kid, and how I forced myself to leave it to help take care of my mom instead of letting the rest of the family do everything to comfort her. I had to fight to keep control of myself and not start sobbing on stage in the middle of my performance. I was so overwhelmed. As soon as the song ended and the applause had barely started, I bolted off of the stage so I could go cry, then see my mom. Ever since that day I've always payed extra attention to the emotions behind songs that I encounter. Its a part of my life. Feelings and music cannot exist without each other on my head.

More Poetry

I wrote this a while ago. It feels like ages. I hardly remember writing it.

He has been the best of friends

But the other was a fair lover

He is great at making me smile and laugh

But the other one was great at keeping me hopeful through those cold and dreary nights

He is always here for me when I need him

But the other one isn't here at all

I truely love him, that can't be bad

I truely miss the other and that can be bad

He creates a mix of emotions in the heart of me

Love, happiness, giddiness, longing

The other does too.

Anger, frustration, confusion, longing

Why do I pine for the other when I have him?

He has so much more potential

The other threw his away

He can be rude to people

The other can be rude to everyone without knowing

Both are truely good at heart

But one can have my heart

I choose him

Re: Habits

I just realized how my last post could be misconstrued, and I would like to say that its not about what, or who rather you might think it is about. Things are not what they seem. (Teehee. Swan Princess. Love that movie! What is it with me and movies that have the word 'princess' in the title?)

Habits.

I don't like habits. You can do something everyday, or think something everyday, but then a point in time might come along that necessitates that that behavior stops. So, you stop and every thing's going just peachy. You have a new habit to roll with, but then you fall back into the old habit on accident. Just for a few seconds, but its enough. You jump back at the recurrence, you are appalled with yourself, but it felt normal, it felt right. Like when you go back to your old elementary school. It't not your school, you don't attend there, you don't have someone you're meeting there, you're not helping out with something there, you're just there, and it feels like home. But this home, its like a dark creepy old dusty mansion, that follows me down the road. I'm steping through the threshold of a new house, a very nice clean and comforting house, but then this nasty one pops up behind me like a bad dream and has flashing lights and a megaphone so I can't escape. It will take me inside, lock me up for just a few moments of agony and terror, then just let me go. I'm free to walk out, and leave it behind on the other side of the street. The house waves pleasantly and says "Nice to see you again. Come back and visit", and I think "Yeah right, I'm never coming back here" Then a few weeks later, the house gets angry that I haven't come to visit. Then I get locked up again. Sometimes I go to the house but stay inside. I sit in the garden for a little bit. I stay and chat with the house, have a few laughs, then I leave. The house beckons me to come and visit again, and I don't. It gets angry again. I wish the old house could leave me alone and be happy. I love this new house. I don't plan on moving any time soon. I wish I could lock myself in this new house so I couldn't be ripped back to the old house. But the old house would find away. It would break a window, find a back door, sneak down the chimney. I can't escape. I'm being haunted by ghosts that tried to get rid of me. I hate the irony. I hate the old house's power of saying 'accio ginny!' and having me pop up inside. I hate this fucking retarded metaphor.  And the god damned chair! And indoor plumbing! Gyod fucking dammit!

Addition to Amazement.

I was going to add this to my previous note, but forgot to.

Isn't it amazing how sexy someone can sound while they're conjested? It sounds totally awesome, then you remember the awesome lowness is caused by a gross buildup of mucous, but then you stop caring about that because it sounds so wonderful. 

Not So Amazing (New material that wasn't previously forgotten)
(Too lazy to make another post)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever had a really bad back ache then started coughing uncontrollably again for like the zillionth time this week and last, then not be able to stop coughing to the point where you get stomach cramps and you pull a muscle in your tongue? Yeah, it totally sucks. And Sarah's right. Ibuprofen is a total joke. But mine aren't orange for pizzaz, they're blue to have soothing vibes.

Amazement.

Its amazing how one little sentence from someone...well, it was more like three sentences tied into one idea can make a person so happy. You can get into a 2 hour argument 3 hours after the sentence, and you can completely brush it off afterwards because of one little innocent seemingly pointless thing a person said to you. I feel like an idiot. 

I also feel like an idiot for a certain safeway purchase I made.  :P

Important Life Lesson

Don't rock out to Bad Sun by the Bravery in the shower.

You fall down and make the nasty bruise on your hip nastier. :P

Disgust.

She watched him in the resturant

He was staring down the innocent little girl

The child was prey to him

He kept his face calm but his eyes betrayed him

They glimmered with the evils he was contemplating

She lost all her appitite and bile rose to her throat

She wanted to hit the man and take the girl and run

Run far away from he who wished to do her harm

The child and those around her remained in their state of naivite

But she knew better

She knew the sinister tenor of the man's thoughts

She noticed a boy watching her

With his own dark thoughts

She became prey too

She wanted to hit the boy and run

Run far away from the world of predator and prey

Watch out man, watch out.

Okay. I saw a certain girl with a certain song lyric as her status on a certain social networking site. This certain girl was dating a certain guy who was going out with another certain girl who told his ex-girlfriend (certain girl #2) that the certain song had a special meaning for him and their relationship while they were still going out. If this certain boy reused this certain song on this certain girl, I shall be very put out. (movie quote!)

If I am to be put out, I shall 'open up a can of whoop-ass' and make this certain boy wish that he had never been such a slimey & bitch-faced man-whore jackass. I have tons of friends and a few family members who would be more than happy to help me kick this certains boy's ass. I will admit in my current enraged state, I am actually hoping that the certain boy reused the certain song with his relationship with this certain girl, because it would be a lot of fun to make the certain boy pay. Although, I suppose it is quite possible that the certain girl came across the certain song lyric as the song is becoming more and more popular amongst our peers. And the song was meaningful to the certain boy as I have been told on numerous occations and it might be fair to let him have the song change who the meaning went to. But why the hell am I reasoning? It would just be fun to watch the certain boy cry.

Note-I am very angry right now and will probably feel bad about this later, but right now......I'm too fucking pissed to care.  So apologies in advance, and LOOK OUT BOY, LOOK OUT! 

Kays, I'm gonna go do some trig to calm down. (nerd pride!)