Today, I saw a drunk guy claim that he was George Washington. When asked for two forms of ID, he pulled out a dollar and a quarter. He wins. MILA
Today in class my teacher was telling us how we could look at things under the microscope. His words were, "just stick it in there and play around with it." I laughed noticeably loud and half-whispered to my friend, "that's what she said" my teacher heard, laughed and gave me a high five. I can't wait to go back tomorrow. MLIA
Today I wanted to buy a Where's Waldo book. I couldn't find it anywhere in the bookstore. Well played Waldo, well played. MLIA.
Today, I went on a road trip with my friend. I sneezed and her navigation system said bless you. It was the highlight of the trip for me. MLIA
Today, I found a cookbook titled 'Wookie Cookies'. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day making Darth Chocolate Brownies, Yoda Soda, and Boba Fettuccine. I have never enjoyed food so much. MLIA.
Today, I was dragged to a college info session that I didn't want to go to. When they asked for questions, I raised my hand and said, "What does your school do to protect against the constant threat of dementors?" The lady responded, "All our professors are trained in the art of patronuses so there is nothing to worry about." I think I'll reconsider this school. MLIA
Today my brother brought his new girlfriend home. He told us to be nice because he wanted to impress her. I was playing Zelda in the living room in my pajamas when they showed up. I was yelling at the screen during a Boss fight. My brother got mad but his girlfriend sat down next to me and told me the trick to beating it. I told my brother to marry her. MLIA
Today I went through MacDonald's Drive through in a cardboard box with my friend. The lady said that we needed some wheels to order. We came back 10 minutes later sitting in a trolley with the box over our head. She gave us super size for our efforts. MLIA.
Today, I was late for my curfew. Instead of a grounding, I found a Halmark card where you can record your own voice on my bed. When I opened it, it was my dad screaming. I was punished by a Howler. I need to be late more often. MLIA
Today, I was at Costco and the lady in front of me ordered a slice of pizza. It was $2.99 and including 5% tax it was $3.14. I giggled to myself at the thought of pizza pi. MLIA.
Today during my soccer game I was running down the sidelines and tripped and started to fall. Instead of landing on my face, I tucked in my head and rolled and popped back up. No one noticed. I've never felt so ninja in my life. MLIA
Today, my dad told me it was time for me to meet his new girlfriend. He told me to dress nicely, so when she arived I came downstairs fully clad in robes and a pointy wizard hat. My dad gasped, but his girlfriend just smiled pleasantly and asked me how my term at Hogwarts was going. I hear wedding bells. MLIA
Today, I set my text alert as, "Incoming transmission from Autobots headquarters." While I was at Wal-Mart, I got a text. A little boy standing next to me gasped. I told him to keep it a secret, as my phone needs to stay under the radar. He understood. MLIA
Today, I was riding the train home when it stopped and the lights went out. The kid next to me yelled, "DEMENTORS DEMENTORS!" A few moments later, the train started again. Everyone was staring at him, but he calmly shrugged and said, "False alarm." I wish I was as cool as that kid. MLIA.
Today, when I got to work, I jumped out of my elevator like a secret agent and pointed my fake gun right at my boss. He instantly dove sideways behind a desk and started firing back. This went on for 5 minutes. I love my job. MLIA
Yesterday I intentionally wore lime green jeans to school because our dress code said no “blue” jeans. I spent two class periods debating with the vice principle how the dress code never said anything about green jeans. She called the principle to argue for her defense and I got the art teacher who looked at them and said they were green. I win. MLIA.
Today, when a telemarketer called I told him I was in the middle of making a Polyjuice Potion and couldn't talk because it is a very time-sensitive process. He quickly apologized, said he understood, and asked if I go to Hogwarts. If they ever call back, I will buy twelve of whatever they sell. MLIA
Today I was running by the fire department and one of the firemen walking out and started singing,"It's getting hot in here, so hot, so take of all your clothes." I yelled "you first." And he replied, your pole or mine?" If my house is on fire I know I'm in good hands. MLIA
Today was the first day of school. In the middle of class someone's phone went off and it played the original Power Ranger's theme song. The teacher apologized, it was his wife. Guess who's my new favorite teacher. MLIA.
Today, my mom was talking about putting things off until tomorrow. I told her "What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?" My parents told me how profound I was. They'll never know I took that from Spongebob. MLIA.
Today, I changed my dad's name in my contacts to Darth Vader, and then promptly forgot who it was. He texted me, and I asked who it was. He said "I am your father." MLIA
The other day, I read a MLIA about someone using the name Beyonce at Starbucks. I decided to try it out and when the cashier asked my name I said "I'm Batman" and sat down. When my coffee was done she yelled "Mr. Wayne?" We're going out tomorrow night. MLIA
Last month, my boyfriend told all his friends and family that he wanted a lego train set for his 21st birthday. We now have a lego train that covers the entire house and delivers beer from the kitchen into the study. I knew I made the right choice. MLIA
Today, I saw a light-up Transformers backpack. I told my mom I wanted it; she laughed and pointed at a boring black bag. I told her, very seriously, that it was Transformers or bust. An old lady nodded approvingly and a little boy asked my mom if she was a Decepticon. I now own a Transformers backpack. MLIA
Every night, I put on a Disney movie before I go to bed. Tonight, I put on the Lion King, and my puppy stopped playing and put his head down when Rafiki raised Simba. I know who will be getting an extra treat tomorrow for showing proper respect to the King. MLIA
Today, my dad made me go to a formal affair with a very strict, black-tie dress code for one of his city official friends. When we got there they handed us toy guns, sparkling cider in wine glasses, and sat us down to watch a James Bond marathon.
Our city is in good hands. MLIA
Our city is in good hands. MLIA
Today, it was dress as your favorite story book character day. I dressed as Harry Potter, and I saw a random kid that ive never even seen before dressed as Ron. I desided to take the risk and asked, "Ron...is that you?" He then turns to me and says, "Bloody hell! Harry I havent seen you in a long while!" Guess who my new best friend is? MLIA
Today, I set up a voice password on my laptop. Now I can only get on it when I say "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" and log off when I say "Mischief managed". MLIA
Today, someone rang my doorbell. I opened the door and nobody was there. I glanced down the street and saw a tabby cat running in the opposite direction of my house. I never knew Professor McGonagall was such a prankster. MLIA
Today, I was sitting in the parking lot at CVS when an old man riding a power wheelchair rolls by. Not only did he have an extremely long beard and aviator sunglasses, but a license plate that said "Ridin' Dirty". Needless to say... I can't wait to get old. MLIA.
Today, I was working at the bookstore. I saw a girl moving all the Harry Potter books from the young adults section to the non-fiction section. Instead of kicking her out, I shouted "Petrificus Totalus!". She stopped immediately and fell to the ground. I'm taking her to the movies tommorow. MLIA
Today was the first day of the new school year. As I was taking attendance and reading down the list, I realized that one of my students was named Thomas Marvin Riddle. When the time came to call him, I instead called, "He Who Must Not Be Named?" He said here, and I became the "cool" teacher. MLIA
Today, I went back to my car after a day at the mall and saw that someone wrote "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty" on the back of my dirty car. I actually love this person. MLIA
Today, me and my friend were having a 'Yo Momma' battle. I said 'Yo momma so ugly even Dementors wouldn't wanna kiss her.' I think we all know who won. MLIA.
oday, I went on a date with this really cute girl. My friend had set my ringtone on my phone to the Pokemon theme song and called me. She sang along to the lyrics. I've found my soulmate. MLIA
Today at work I missed pronounced a customers surname as 'Batman' instead of "Bateman". When I asked if his order was for pickup or delivery, he said "Pickup, Robin can get it in the batmobile". I'm still laughing. MLIA
Today I was carrying a lot of groceries out of the store and a can of pineapple juice started to fall. I ended up catching it on my foot and flipping it back into my hands. All the cashiers and customers nearby applauded. I felt like a pro. MLIA
Today, my friend and I discovered that microsoft word recognizes the names Sirius, Dumbledore and Potter but spell checks Voldemort, Lestrange and Malfoy. I am comforted knowing that microsoft will never be a death eater and is allied with Harry. MLIA
Last week I took a biology quiz on the immune system. Not knowing the answer to "what specific forces protect the body from illness" I wrote: Chuck Norris. Today I got that quiz back, not only did the teacher give me full credit for my answer, she also wrote a chuck norris joke on the bottom of the page. I love biology. MLIA
Today, I was walking down a busy sidewalk. A man stopped me and leaned to whisper in my ear. I was really creeped out, until he said "Pretend to be scared in three seconds" Three seconds later, his four year old son hopped out from behind a tree with zombie face paint on and yelled BOOOOOOOOO! I screamed and ran away, flailing my arms. MLIA
Today I was at at party and while eating a hamburger I made a face with the ketchup and mustard. I was mortified when I really cute guy saw how immature I was. Until he showed me his burger. It was harry potter. Glasses and scar. I spent the rest of the party with him. It was awesome. MLIA.
Today I was at Costco with my mom. We were wandering through the aisles and she asks "Do we need any Nutella?". The woman next me whips her head around, stares at me in a transe, and whispers "Everyone needs Nutella!". We got Nutella. MLIA
Today, I was watching Dora the Explorer. At the end of the episode, she asked what was our favorite part. I said 'The part when your boobs fell off'. Dora replied with "Yeah, I liked that too! They jiggled and jiggled and jiggled!". I laughed for about an hour. MLIA.
Today, I swerved to avoid a banana peel on the road. Thanks, Mario Kart. MLIA
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend and I absentmindedly started tapping on his arm. Then I started tapping out a beat. My boyfriend looked over at me and said, "Robot Chicken theme song?" I knew we were soulmates. MLIA
Today, I was driving to my girlfriend's when I pulled up next to this emo kid blasting screamo. I proceeded to roll down my windows and crank up the Pokemon Theme song. He turned his music down and rocked out with me. I feel I made a friend. MLIA
Today, I mentally replaced each room in my house with the name of a location in Hogwarts. When my younger brother asked me where the remote was, I told him to check the Gryffindor commonroom. He knew exactly where to go. I've raised him well. MLIA
Today we were having guests for dinner, and my mom asked me to go buy mac and cheese for the son of the couple coming over. Since she wanted to impress the family, she asked me to get the best kind available. I came home with Spiderman shaped. When my mom saw, she was not pleased. The kid loved it. I win. MLIA.
Today, after reading several MLIA's about people configuring speech recognition on their MacBooks, I decided to try it for myself. My laptop now responds to the name Megatron. My life is complete. MLIA
Today, my friends decided that we should all ride the train back to college this year. We realized what this means: we're dressing up like Hogwarts students and speaking in British accents the whole way there. I'm knitting scarves for us tomorrow. MLIA
Today was my first year of the new semester of college. I'd read reviews about one of my professor being on the mean side, and was terrified. When I came into the room, not only was he dressed as Snape, but every time somebody answered a question he'd yell, "TEN POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR." MLIA.
A few years ago, I crawled into my sister's bed at nighttime when she got up to pee. When she came back, I jumped out at her. She still turns on the light before she gets into her bed to make sure no one is in it. She's 18. I feel as though this is one of my greatest accomplishments. MLIA.
Today, I dropped my pencil. My teacher yelled Wingardium Leviosa, and the kid in front of me threw it up into the air for me to catch. New favorite class. MLIA
Today, I was playing Ping Pong with a friend. I whispered "Confundus", and then she missed the ball. She'll never know. MLIA
Today, I was fighting with my boyfriend. He wouldn't look me in the eye, so I texted one of my friends saying "He won't look me in the eye. What am I, a basalisk?" I accidentally sent it to him. He told me he loved me for relating our fight to Harry Potter. We made up. MLIA
Today, I noticed a spider on my porch. I was about to destroy him, but then I stopped and wondered what a MLIA'er would do. He is now officially the bouncer for my household. His name is Antonio. MLIA
Today, I was at the Chattanooga Aquarium. They have this gigantic manta ray and as I was taking a picture of it, I heard a little kid yell, "YOU KILLED STEVE IRWIN!" It made my life. MLIA.
Today, we had to run a mile in class. I needed to run it in at least 10 minutes to pass, which was going to be hard for me seeing as I'm an extremely slow runner. I pretended dementors were chasing me while screaming EXPECTO PATRONUM. I ran it in 6 minutes. MLIA
The last time I went to Disney, I got stuck on The Tower of Terror right before the drop. I was secretly frightened of the dark box I was in, so I starting humming The Lion King. A lady next to me heard and began to sing with me. Then everyone on the ride began to roar and chime in. I realized that Disney really is the place where dreams come true. MLIA
Today I was walking on the beach and I saw my boyfriend walking towards me from the other direction. As soon as we saw each other, we began running in slow motion like the scene from Ten. Once we finally reached each other, people on the beach started clapping. MLIA
Today, I thought about how cool it would be if you could high five yourself. Then I realised that it would be clapping. MLIA
Today I was walking down the hallway when my friend started shooting an imaginary gun at me. I grabbed a nearby freshman in a headlock as a human shield. He would twitch as my friend's imaginary bullets hit him. I have found my new favorite freshman. MLIA
Today, I was drifting off to sleep in bed with my boyfriend. There was a really annoying fruit fly buzzing around our heads and instinctivly we both reached up and slapped it at the same time. Not only did we kill the fly, but we did it with a high-five. MLIA.
Today, I was in the elevator and a man came in who was breathing kind of loudly. Another man in the elevator started to very quietly hum the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars. It made my day. MLIA
Today while in a class I was moving a folded triangle of paper back and forth behind a blue binder humming the "Jaws" theme.The person sitting next to me made a little paper man and let my shark eat him. I have a new friend now. MLIA
Today, my friend was helping me with my interview for a new job. I was doing great until he asked "Would you rather be a Jedi or a Wizard?" Suffice to say, that was the single most difficult question I have ever had to decide in my entire life. MLIA
Today on the train the guy across from me had his fly undone. His Superman boxers were very much on display. When I got up for my stop I said 'Seeya, Superman'. I've never seen someone look more confused, but I know he'll figure it out later. MLIA.
Today, I was at my grandma 's house. I was trying to connect to her wifi on my iPod touch, but I didn't know the password so I tried random words. Jokingly, I typed in 'nakedboys' it worked. My grandma rocks. MLIA
Today my friends and I were writing in secret code. Every letter was changed to the next letter in the alphabet. I was writing to my friend anna. Her code name was boob. Someone has a new nickname. MLIA
Today I saw a redheaded guy with a maroon sweater in the supermarket. So of course I yelled "Ron Weasley!" The guy turned around and said "Harry?!" It was my history teacher. I now have a new favorite subject. MLIA.
Today my friends and I ate at a cafe. We took extras straws and used them as wands, dueling at our table. After about 5 minutes a staff member walked over and dropped a napkin on our table. It was a letter from the Ministry of Magic reprimanding us for our use of underage magic. MLIA.
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