Me

So I started a list after Sarah told me to and it turned out like this:

• brown hair
• dark green eyes
• loves music
• loves love
• reads about yoga, but doesnt actually do it, no matter how much she tells herself she will
• hates country music
• has an obsession with fingernails, so she always keeps them painted so as to not distract herself
• has an extreme desire to perform on Broadway as Belle even though she knows she doesn't have what it takes
• writes songs
• hates every song she writes
• writes random-ass poetry when she's really upset
• fixes other people's problems instead of her own
• lives in the past
• oppressed girly-girl
• weird/amusing laugh
• fine with how her body looks - just not how it functions
• would be an OCD-like organized freak if she had the ability to kick herself in the ass
• tired all the time
• can't think when tired
• hates sleeping alone (cats count towards not being alone)
• addicted to tea
• bright smile
• loves to help people

And I'm not too happy with how it came out. But I was cleaning my room today, and I started going through all the old notebooks I brought back from Reno but never went through I found a few things. A few things I needed to find a few months ago.

• Pretty hair color
• Nice, thick hair
• Pretty eye color in the sunlight
• Fairly long eyelashes
• Full lips
• Straight teeth
• Long legs
• Delicate skin tone
• Smart
• Clever
• Funny
• Modest
• Compassionate
• Puts others first
• Trustworthy
• Kind
• Good at singing
• Good memory for little details
• Good writer
• Vocabulant
• Creative
• Imaginative
• Can help others think through situations
• Fun
• Dedicated

If I had found this a while ago, it would have been a nice reminder. Now its a nice reality check. I'm not a lot of these things anymore. I've lost most of my good qualities. I was trying to find me by learning about myself. But I've lost who I am, so that wasn't working. I needed to be looking at who I was before and trying to figure out how to get back to being the Ginny that everyone knew and loved. I need to get back to being me.

I've also found a list of promises I made to myself. I'm re-promising them to myself and I'm listing them here.

I promise:

-To shower every morning 

-To never skip my skin routine

-To never leave the house without sunblock on

-To say 5 good things about myself every morning

-To eat well, exercise, and to be kind to my body (no more nutella binges)

-To spent at least 10 with Rusty where he was my full attention every day

-To sing my heart out every day

-To compliment 2 people a day - and mean it

-To To be kind to everybody and to try and find nice to say about someone when someone else says something mean about them

-To reflect on my day every night and try to learn from it

-To do my homework right after school

-To never put myself down unnecessarily - verbally and mentally

-To keep my room and bathroom uncluttered so my brain doesn't get that way either

-To write 5 times a week to work towards becoming a better writer

-To actually call people on their birthdays

-To celebrate my girly-girl side and not hide it

-To "make wise choices"

-To also help my friends become better people

And above all:

-To love unconditionally 8 days a week

How am I for corny? 

But hey, it works.